Little Known Fact

Since McCain announced Sarah Palin as his running mate for the presidency, Twitter and other social media outlets have been flooded with “Little Known Facts” about Mrs. Palin. While I am a non-partisan voter, I couldn’t resist the urge to contribute some random facts (completely fabricated) that humorously depict the politician picked for pity and popularity. Here are my facts that have been populated on Twitter:

1. Little known fact: Sarah Palin had 6 kids. They ate 1 during a rough Alaskan winter. Poor kid. So much for pro-life.

2. Little known fact: Sarah Palin couldn’t get a job at Alaskan Airlines and will run as VP instead. Apparently, Alaskan requires experience.

3. Little known fact: Sarah Palin has corns. On all toes.

4. Little known fact: Sarah Palin is actually 60. She had plastic surgery with Cindy McCain. Cindy got the short end of the stick.

5. Little known fact: Sarah Palin had to become a Registered Nurse to run. John McCain needs all the care – err support – on the campaign trail.

6. Little known fact: Sarah Palin shops at Chico’s.

7. Little known fact: Sarah Palin is actually from Nantucket. She moved to Alaska for the pity votes.

8. Little known fact: Sarah Palin watches Sit and Be Fit on PBS…for fun.

9. Little known fact: Sarah Palin already has her outfit from Sears picked out for the Inauguration. No one told her that the VP doesn’t go.

10. Little known fact: Sarah Palin wants to be more like McCain. She’s wearing more make-up on the face to hide the wrinkles.

11. Little known fact: Sarah Palin saved $400 million in Alaska. She spent $800 million on the solution to saving.

12. Little known fact: Sarah Palin won’t shave *there* because it would take away from her image as a feminist. Here’s to Betty Friedan.

13. Little known fact: Sarah Palin fired her image consultant when she suggested Sarah get an image first.

14. Little known fact: Sarah Palin doesn’t wash her hands after she uses the restroom. Even when she goes #2.

15. Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin was actually asked to leave Alaska. Being announced as a running mate is just a coincidence.

16. Little known fact: Sarah Palin was one of the 2 people that bought a Microsoft Zune.

17. Little known fact: Sarah Palin was heartbroken when Ravyn Simone left the Cheetah Girls.

18. Little known fact: Sarah Palin played Mr. Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street for 20 years before becoming mayor. Sesame Street let her go.

19. Little known fact: Sarah Palin buys the Great Value pop tarts from Walmart even when Kellog’s brand is cheaper.